[Where I'm At]


What has happened since September?

Stand up was... problematic. For some reason it just made me stressed out and I couldn't get off my ass and write anything. Fear took over on this one, I guess. I have a few books to help me out if I want to venture there again. Silly me will go in way more prepared for that type of thing. If I ever want to go there again.

I really want to act. I need to find a way. Auditioning for the sketch shows seems like the best route as of right now. I went to one and it was a nice experience so going in more prepared (music and more improv experience)... I don't know.

I'm writing things and I can't tell if I'm lying to myself. It's so easy for me to just come up with anything and truly believe it because there was nothing there to begin with. I had absolutely no thought or emotion behind what I did (does that make it instinct?) and yet I can make something up on the spot about it as if it were true. And it's very feasible for the kind of person I want to be.

I've been wrapping my head around the fact that everything is a concept. But I really want to speak out about the changes I want made in the world. So how can I do that?

It's not about me. I exist as a being. This being is working on being more fit and active, improvisation/acting and coming out of her "shell". Connecting with others. Figuring out how to "make a wage" and still feel balanced. Yoga, dance, art, social interaction, intimate relationships...

I want the second bill of rights enacted, the war on drugs to be diminished (mj legalized or decriminalized), increase attention on schools and education, on universal healthcare, taking care of the environment, and religion phased out.

7:02 p.m.